Monday, March 30, 2009

How To Avoid Questionable Characters While Dating Gay Guys In Thailand

How To Avoid Questionable Characters While Dating Gay Guys In Thailand

A Mostly Common Sense Approach

Meeting People

1. Stay out of the gogo bars.
This one should be pretty obvious. It's not impossible that you might meet a "real" boyfriend in a gogo bar, but it might as well be.

2. Stay out of Soi 4; oh heck, stay away from Silom/Suriwong/Patpong entirely.
Once again, why screw up your odds? Yes, there are some nice/real people going to Silom and so forth, including of course you, my gentle reader- but really....

3. Stay out of gay bars in general.
Excluding present company, I'm afraid that simply being in a gay bar in Thailand is unusual and rare for many real gay guys- they don't have the time or the money, or they want to avoid stigma.

4. Do not use Internet chat rooms or personals sites.
There are far too many butterflies, MBs, "students," "kept" types, and crazies on these sites to make them good places for finding a "real" candidate.

5. Do not consider people you meet in saunas or parks serious candidates.
Another obvious one. People don't go to saunas and parks looking for serious connections with others.

6. Do not consider students serious candidates.
Even though they're cute, even though they're young, even though they're horny and they love you- they're just not worth the trouble. No money, uncertain future, and difficult to track.

7. Do not consider the unemployed serious candidates.
Another obvious one. Anyone who is unemployed in Thailand needs a good explanation of how they manage to stay alive (or at least how they did before you started taking care of them). Why add to the list of troubles for yourself?

8. DO keep your eyes open in public for those who looking at you with interest.
There are many very friendly and lovely gay guys all around who will readily indicate interest in you. Yes, even you, with your pot belly and grandfatherly look- that's what some of them like. Learn to notice and respond to these signals- look around when you're on the train, on the street (except Silom), in malls, at grocery stores.

9. DO chat and be friendly with attractive people who are obviously already working.
Some Thais are quite shy. If they are cute and seem gay, why not try to take the initiative? And if they're working somewhere that you're shopping or have business, you have a perfect excuse for the interaction- and you know they have a job.

10. DO ask your Thai friends to introduce you to nice people.
You *do* have Thai friends, right? Get them to help you out- but in this case, beware of your responsibility. You don't want your friend to lose face if you turn out to be a jerk.

11. DO make Thai friends.
This is sort of a prerequisite to number 10. Not all gays that you contact will be interested in you that way- and you can only have one boyfriend, anyway. Keep some of the rest as friends.

12. DO go to gay-attractive events such as film events, art exhibitions, and the performing arts.
Another place to find like-minded people with enough money and leisure for taste.

13. DO try to meet Thai university teachers/workers (not students).
This solves the education/job/intelligence side of the equation from the start.

14. DO consider Thai-Chinese partners if you can.
While not to everyone's taste, and bringing along with them certain stereotypical weaknesses, all signs point to their being among the best choice for stable relationships between foreigners and Thai nationals.